That Feeling

Recently I purchased my first car that is completely in my own name and mine all mine! It's the perfect up-and-coming career girl car that makes me look like such a grown up. The problem is, I still don't feel any different. I've been out of college now for two years. I've been through relationships. I've had great losses and great joys in my life. When the hell am I going to start to feel like a grown-up?

Not that I really want to BE a grown-up. I just want to feel like I've accomplished something.

So I should get off my ass and actually do something that is worth talking about instead of wasting my time talking about it. Now I guess my plan here is to go back to school. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal but I've been worried about going back since I have been out of the school lifestyle for two years now. But I never really tried in college so now it serves me right that I need to work hard, going to school and work, to make something better out of my life.

Tomorrow my plan is to call the advising office to figure out what I have to do now to start this fall. I figure if I give myself the chance to save money for a while and learn to stay in at night instead of spending two, or three, or four nights at the bar hoping that McDirty will be interested in spending time with me that night.

Also if I start school in the fall that will give me a reason to stay at this god forsaken job that I've been suffering at for far too long already. The only bonus is that we do have tuition reimbursement and that would be extremely helpful in figuring out how to pay to go back to school.

The biggest problem is just forcing myself to grow up and move on in life so that I can solve these things that I bitch about. I have virtually no motivation to get started with this, except for feeling my blood pressure rise as I drive to work everyday and the fact that I use the F word within half an hour of getting to work each day. I'm just such a mellow person in the grand scheme of life that once I get home and fall into my bed I convince myself that things will be better the next day. No matter how many times I am screwed by the management of this place I still come back for more. In the beginning I asked for it because of JerkFace. He is the root of many of my evils. But since "the Incident" I feel I have been wrongly attacked many times for things that have to relation to how I perform at my job. The personality conflicts are so large it's hard to explain them without sounding like I'm just complaining. It's all true.

That is why I have vowed to never accept a job in this company again. Which is going to prove more and more difficult as they take over the Pittsburgh area..... (and soon the world, I fear). I've purposely left the name out of this blog but if you are familiar with the area it should be easy to figure out. Still I will stick to my promise that I will never again wear a badge with their logo after I finally leave this tiny office behind.


http://www.theburghblog.com
Apparently (my hero) PittGirl has had a run in with them too.