McGiant

So last night started with fun drama with my Meredith (I'll get to that later) but apparently it ended with me texting McGiant for about an hour and then me falling asleep during that conversation. But.... we started the talking again in the morning when I got up to go get drug tested for my new job. So that reminded me that I needed to write about McGiant on here because apparently my subconscious mind is still attracted to him.

McGiant was the first (and only) guy that I've actually dated since my breakup with JerkFace( yes, i know I still have to write his and I think I'm almost to the point where I can do it). He is another guy that I would see at work from time to time and we always flirted, because I like to.

But he was charming and I learned his schedule so that I knew when he was working so that I could dress up and one day I seriously even went and bought a new shirt because I knew he was going to be working. And so I wore that shirt to work that night and sure enough, he gave me his number and told me that if I wanted to go for a drink some time to call him. I didn't even make it past the rest of the day at work before I texted and we ended up going for drinks that night.

We sat at the bar talking and he paid for my drinks and then when they were closing he asked if I wanted to go and talk some more at Eat n Park. Since that is practically the only Eat n Park that closes we got to sit there for almost an hour and after that he walked me to my car and hugged me goodbye. It was actually refreshing that night that he didn't try to kiss me and I really liked the fact that he was a gentleman.

After that night we would talk at least once a day, especially when he was at his other job because he worked night turn by himself. So I would lay in bed talking to him until I fell asleep. Then we had our standing date on Monday nights because we got off of work half an hour apart. So we would meet at EatnPark at "our" table and eat, smoke and BS with each other from the time we got there until they closed.

Then he started to introduce me to his friends AND family. I was nervous about going into another relationship but he was always so good. We went to parties, hockey games and the local hang outs just as happy as can be. I spent days drinking with his friends girlfriends while the guys were out playing paintball and nights drinking with his sister and her husband. (I should have expected something was slightly off though when she asked if I wanted to try on her wedding dress the first time I met her.)

Anyway things were fine for about four months until he suddenly stopped talking about his friend's upcoming wedding which I just assumed we were going to together. Then one night one of his friends girlfriends called me and dropped the bomb. McGiant had asked her boyfriend what a girl name "Jamie" should wear to said wedding. Clearly I was no longer invited to the wedding and after that point we didn't even acknowledge each other for about four months.

But what really sucked about that was the fact that I was still hearing from his friends while he and Jamie got more and more serious. So I was a bitch and ignored them and months later we became social again.

However, recently, we've become much more flirty again and I'm wondering what is going to come of that. Especially after my drunken text messages last night (which I'm blaming on the Red Bull) because even though I was drunk, I knew the conversation was very sketchy to say the least.

So we shall see what this brings but really, the worst thing that can happen is I flirt with him and get his hopes up and then crush them by reminding him about Jamie. :)

Woo Hoo!!

Seems like I haven't been on here in forever! Just a little update.... I accepted a new job because I really feel that if I were to stay at the one I have now I would most certainly do one of three things....
1. Physically harm a co-worker
2. Be committed
3. Hurt myself

So I accepted a job that really isn't a step up the career ladder but it it more money. And I'm sure that it will take me at least a couple months to start to dislike the people I'll be working with out there. So happily I'll be leaving at the beginning of August and start my new job in the middle of August. Yeah me!

Truly, things have gotten so bad here that I cannot physically keep my mouth shut anymore. I snap at co-workers who are more than happy to stab me in the back no matter how many times I've bailed their ass out. I really hope they remember that when karma takes over and gives them what they deserve because I am working hard to move on and be the better person. I know that I am better than that. I come to work and do my job everyday. Now that I've gotten to the point where I cannot handle the drama and bull that they try to dish out, its time for me to go.

All in all this is a happy thing for me because I know there is no future in the position I've been in for two years now. I will have a better career and this is just something that I needed to teach me. I've learned so much working here, most importantly that I know my limits in stressful situations that test people.

I will dearly miss the people who I have built friendships with but I know that even after we say goodbye at work, those people who are my true friends will still be there with me.

Anniversary

First off, I'd like to congratulate my parents for making it through 44 years of marriage without killing each other. They celebrated their anniversary on Friday.

Another notable Pittsburgh anniversary is Nate McLouth's "welcome to the big leagues" anniversary. Congrats Nate! Lets celebrate! ;)

I <3 McRockstar

So the other day, McRockstar did come in :) He's so dam cute and charismatic that of course I ended up flirting with him while he was here and then talking to him until 3 in the morning. And now I know he is working today and he said he would stop by but he's been a no-show so far tonight. But he did send me a goofy joke text message to me and I sent a cute message back but I'm considering texting him again (which I know is bad) and teasing him because he hasn't been here yet tonight. So I'll probably end up doing it and living the disaster that will come from that.

He's just so good at flirting and complementing people and getting on their good side. And even though I know he is completely playing me, I eat it up and he's got me wrapped around his finger. I guess this is just my whole starving for attention thing that I've been trying to figure out and deal with. Meredith would say that I need to tell him to get away from him because I'm too good for him but, I just keep telling myself that I'm playing his game too. He's just better at it.

Random Updates

~ Well, I've decided that it's over with me and McRockstar. Actually not really because he's so dam appealing that I can never say no to him. But the goal here is that I'm giving him until the end of this week to do something about us and if there is nothing by then, I'm over it. Not at all really but I'll pretend to be over it and then of course he'll want my attention and then I'm going to see how this hard-to-get thing works. I'll ignore him and if what people tell me is true, he'll be falling all over me, and then I'll build self-confidence by not letting him have me!

~ McDirty still isn't really speaking to me. I'm also gonna let him go too. We've had our fun and I think it's run its course. Plus this whole being a responsible adult thing means that I need to move on with everything that is not helping me get to where I want to be. Even though I have no idea where I want to be.

~ I started reading The Secret a couple days ago (after I finally found the bookstore that was supposed to be cheaper but I still ended up paying the same price as Walmart, so I should have just gone there). I haven't really gotten too far into it but the basic idea that I've gotten from the book so far is that it's about the Law of Attraction and how if you think positive thoughts and thoughts of what you want out of life, those things will be attracted to you. I haven't learned yet how to think those thoughts instead of the thoughts about why the hell are things out to get me.

~ Also, Meredith and I have had a plan for the last couple years that we will write a book about how we got through our break ups that will help other girls go through it since we've already been there. That, and I've decided that I keep saying how my life would make such a good reality show but instead I'm gonna do it the old fashioned way and write about my life and all the ridiculous things that have happened but make it even more crazy by having my character say and do all the things that I really dream about doing but haven't had the guts to do. Since I've been bailed on once again, my plan is to get it started now and then I'll have a whole week to work on it while I lay on the beach trying desperately to tan my horribly white skin.

~ After spending a good bit of time last night budgeting my next three paychecks I think I will barely be able to scrape by and pay all of my bills that are coming and still have a few bucks to spend on vacation. God knows I do not want to end up back in the mess that I got in after my disastrous trip to the beach with JerkFace. It took months to get caught up on everything and I ended up with more overdraft charges than I can ever deal with again!

Fate Strikes Again!.....Not in a good way

Once again I did not get a job that was perfect for me. This time I can't blame it on the monster that is my current employer. Even though I am convinced that they are the reason I have not been offered any of the jobs I have interviewed for recently.

This most recent one was taken when I applied for it. The person that got it better be freaking Mother Theresa incarnate.....no not really. I'm not that mean and I'm sure the person is really good at their job but I'm just getting desperate here for a chance to show someone how hard I can work and how much I could accomplish if I was just given the chance.

So for now I sit here waiting and blogging, and looking up other jobs, and thinking about writing, and hoping that McRockstar would come visit us at work today................

Perfect Job

So yesterday I managed to find a job that is absolutely perfect for me, now I just need to MAKE them give it to me. Really, the job was modeled after things I would love to do. Organize public events. Hold town hall meetings. Build a community through volunteer work and good deeds.

I just wrote my cover letter and they need a writing sample as well so I'll probably be working on that tomorrow since I'm off. Maybe this was the big chance I've been waiting for. Maybe this is the reason that my EMT classes didn't work out...



PS- Talked to the guy that my fairy god mother wants me to date. The more I think about it he would probably be a really great boyfriend but now I'm really nervous about how to go about it. I'll enlist Meredith and Izzy to help me sink my teeth in!