So, against Mere's better judgment, I decided to give New Boy a second chance. She is against this completely because she says she does not trust a man who would say the things he said to me. I'm wondering if these are things that couples do to each other when they are fighting? I really don't know because I've never been in one of those relationships where people actually cared enough to talk about their feelings instead of just ignoring one another until the feelings go away.
Anyways I talked to him about two weeks ago now and we have been back together since then. He really is working to get things squared away and get on the right track...Or at least the track that makes me happy.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Clemente Birthday - Round 2
Tonight is the second round of a friend of mine's birthday...For some unknown reason we've decided to go to the busiest club in Pittsburgh. I've honestly never been there before but all I hear about that place is that it's always crowded and it takes forever to get drinks. Hopefully we get down there early enough to take advantage of the drink specials so that we don't realize the place is a pain in the butt to deal with.
I kind of want to stop at the store and get a new shirt at least for tonight... But that would take time away from me getting a quick nap. Yet another sign I'm getting old! This would be the third night in a row that I'll be out and about so I'm thinking that I might take it easy tonight and just chill...Always a good idea to have a couple people keeping an eye on the birthday girl! Then in less than two weeks its my turn!!! Watch out!
I kind of want to stop at the store and get a new shirt at least for tonight... But that would take time away from me getting a quick nap. Yet another sign I'm getting old! This would be the third night in a row that I'll be out and about so I'm thinking that I might take it easy tonight and just chill...Always a good idea to have a couple people keeping an eye on the birthday girl! Then in less than two weeks its my turn!!! Watch out!
Uh oh.....A Virgin No Longer
Well last night was a first for me. I broke up with the new boy. I never did that before and it's really a slap in the face after being on the other side so many times. It really amazed me that all the things I hate hearing from someone that I'm dating, I said to him last night. I told him we can still be friends, and that it's not him, it's my issues. And then I really started to feel bad because I know exactly what he's thinking right now and he probably hates me right now.
I know he had so many plans for us but I think that is what was really giving me a strange vibe. I get a gut feeling about people and things right away and something just didn't quite match up there...Don't get me wrong, I really do think he is a great guy but things moved way too fast and by now it just didn't seem fair to try and change the way things had been going. I really felt like I would be back-tracking on him because I had gotten caught up in the moment and allowed things to develop the way they did. In all reality, we were acting like we had know each other for years from the second day we knew each other. That sounds like a great thing but honestly it made me uncomfortable the longer it went on. We didn't know each other.
The thing that made me most upset about having to do that last night is the I knew what he was going to say once I asked him if we could slow down and it really hurts me to hear it. He has had several bad things happen to him when things were going really well in his life but I think if he took his time a little more things would not be so crushing to him and maybe not moving in super high speed would help make things run a little more smoothly.
Because I know how upset he was and I know that he has been down on his luck for a while I kind of understand why he flipped out at me last night and said some things that I know he will regret. I do just keep in the back of my mind that the rage he showed last night was only after a little more than a month of knowing him. He snapped. And the other thing that keeps coming to my mind is that the night he met me, he was upset over and waiting for a girl who never showed up. Something about that tells me that he will be OK and things will work out right for him. I think he had done a pretty good job of convincing himself that he really was in love with me when in reality I think he will move on just fine and I hope he can find real happiness soon.
I know he had so many plans for us but I think that is what was really giving me a strange vibe. I get a gut feeling about people and things right away and something just didn't quite match up there...Don't get me wrong, I really do think he is a great guy but things moved way too fast and by now it just didn't seem fair to try and change the way things had been going. I really felt like I would be back-tracking on him because I had gotten caught up in the moment and allowed things to develop the way they did. In all reality, we were acting like we had know each other for years from the second day we knew each other. That sounds like a great thing but honestly it made me uncomfortable the longer it went on. We didn't know each other.
The thing that made me most upset about having to do that last night is the I knew what he was going to say once I asked him if we could slow down and it really hurts me to hear it. He has had several bad things happen to him when things were going really well in his life but I think if he took his time a little more things would not be so crushing to him and maybe not moving in super high speed would help make things run a little more smoothly.
Because I know how upset he was and I know that he has been down on his luck for a while I kind of understand why he flipped out at me last night and said some things that I know he will regret. I do just keep in the back of my mind that the rage he showed last night was only after a little more than a month of knowing him. He snapped. And the other thing that keeps coming to my mind is that the night he met me, he was upset over and waiting for a girl who never showed up. Something about that tells me that he will be OK and things will work out right for him. I think he had done a pretty good job of convincing himself that he really was in love with me when in reality I think he will move on just fine and I hope he can find real happiness soon.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
McMedic
I noticed that I have not fully explained my love for McMedic.....Here goes!!
I can still remember the day I decided that I was going to marry McMedic. As strange as it sounds to people that are not in the medical field, it happened after he had brought an extremely critical patient into my ER via his ambulance. There is something very attractive about the sight of a man trying his hardest to save someone's life. I had talked to him before but I hadn't really had a long conversation with him before that day. After delivering that patient to us it took a while for him to decompress and get his things gathered and ready for him to go back on the road. So he talked to me and the woman I was working with and I definitely remember getting my first hug from him that day after he thought one of my male co-workers with really long hair was an attractive woman. That was when he decided that he needed a woman's hug and he hugged me. That day, I was in love.
Since then we have had a bunch of fun times together and I really do consider him a good friend. There were many nights where I went out drinking after work and then stopped by his work for some laughs which eventually ended up with the "No Visitors" policy being implemented for him. There was the night where he said he was not coming to the bar to meet me and Meredith so I wore sweats, glasses and didn't do my hair and then he showed up with his sidekick and completely embarrassed me. That was also the night that I'm pretty sure he knew I was extremely interested in him but he was clearly more interested in Meredith, or just trying to ignore me that night.
My fav night though would have to be the night of Meredith's 21st birthday when he and I were the oldest people at the party. It started when he told me he was running late and not sure if he would make it out and then I looked up at the door of the bar and saw him coming in and looking around for us. Of course I pretended not to see him until he called me and asked where we were sitting. After he had said hi to all of us he stood behind me and I tried desperately not to move because he had his hand resting on the back of my stool but his hand was also gently touching my back for quite a while during our conversation.
Later that night, when we had closed the bar, we decided to head to a friend of mine's house and that was when McMedic was ready to save the day for me. Admittedly I was intoxicated while I was leading the caravan to the party. Meredith and one of her friends was following another friend of ours and McMedic was following me. Not far from the bar we had left, I got pulled over for speeding and should have in all honesty gotten a DUI that night. Instead of McMedic speeding away, because he had been drinking too, he stayed close by and was ready to jump to my rescue if the police had decided to get me out of the car. Fortunately, the officer who pulled me over knew me and knew that although I had been drinking, speeding was the only problem in the car. Long story short we went to the party after the police left and continued to have fun at my friend's house and then at my house after we all got thrown out of the first house. I can still remember him stomping up and down my steps and carrying the beer out of the basement for us.
He really is such a fun guy. The only problem that we run in to is the fact that he doesn't want kids. Which I completely understand but kids are something that I really want to have and that is really important to me. So we'll see how things progress but I know right now I don't have the guts to bring it up to him!
I can still remember the day I decided that I was going to marry McMedic. As strange as it sounds to people that are not in the medical field, it happened after he had brought an extremely critical patient into my ER via his ambulance. There is something very attractive about the sight of a man trying his hardest to save someone's life. I had talked to him before but I hadn't really had a long conversation with him before that day. After delivering that patient to us it took a while for him to decompress and get his things gathered and ready for him to go back on the road. So he talked to me and the woman I was working with and I definitely remember getting my first hug from him that day after he thought one of my male co-workers with really long hair was an attractive woman. That was when he decided that he needed a woman's hug and he hugged me. That day, I was in love.
Since then we have had a bunch of fun times together and I really do consider him a good friend. There were many nights where I went out drinking after work and then stopped by his work for some laughs which eventually ended up with the "No Visitors" policy being implemented for him. There was the night where he said he was not coming to the bar to meet me and Meredith so I wore sweats, glasses and didn't do my hair and then he showed up with his sidekick and completely embarrassed me. That was also the night that I'm pretty sure he knew I was extremely interested in him but he was clearly more interested in Meredith, or just trying to ignore me that night.
My fav night though would have to be the night of Meredith's 21st birthday when he and I were the oldest people at the party. It started when he told me he was running late and not sure if he would make it out and then I looked up at the door of the bar and saw him coming in and looking around for us. Of course I pretended not to see him until he called me and asked where we were sitting. After he had said hi to all of us he stood behind me and I tried desperately not to move because he had his hand resting on the back of my stool but his hand was also gently touching my back for quite a while during our conversation.
Later that night, when we had closed the bar, we decided to head to a friend of mine's house and that was when McMedic was ready to save the day for me. Admittedly I was intoxicated while I was leading the caravan to the party. Meredith and one of her friends was following another friend of ours and McMedic was following me. Not far from the bar we had left, I got pulled over for speeding and should have in all honesty gotten a DUI that night. Instead of McMedic speeding away, because he had been drinking too, he stayed close by and was ready to jump to my rescue if the police had decided to get me out of the car. Fortunately, the officer who pulled me over knew me and knew that although I had been drinking, speeding was the only problem in the car. Long story short we went to the party after the police left and continued to have fun at my friend's house and then at my house after we all got thrown out of the first house. I can still remember him stomping up and down my steps and carrying the beer out of the basement for us.
He really is such a fun guy. The only problem that we run in to is the fact that he doesn't want kids. Which I completely understand but kids are something that I really want to have and that is really important to me. So we'll see how things progress but I know right now I don't have the guts to bring it up to him!
New Boy
Clearly all of those stories below show that I need to break up with the New Boy. It really sucks but I just keep reminding myself that the night he met me, he was waiting for another girl to show up and she didn't so he turned his attention to me. Whether I'm right or not I think he'll be just fine moving on from me, but I just have never had to do this before. I've never had the power in a relationship like this. And my pocket is ringing with a new phone number, starting with his area code...Did the man finally get a phone? That would be special.
I just keep flipping back and forth about what to do with him. On one hand I really do like him as a person but in reality I don't know what kind of person he is yet. And my gut instinct about him was that he was the kind of person who is always waiting for that big job that is coming up and the type of person that lives from day to day just getting by with the help of magical strokes of luck. I don't necessarily want to be in a relationship where I never know what circumstances of life are going to change in a given day.
I want a man like McMedic, I don't need to have a million dollars in the bank but I would like to not have to count pennies in order to have fun and go out from time to time. Also, I don't mind working hard and saving up to have the chance to go away and have a blast of a vacation. Traveling and seeing things that I've never seen before is one of my favorite things to do and one of the things that I like the most about McMedic and other people that I used to work with. They had the same kind of attitude that I do. I would rather work 24/7 for a while to earn money to get what I want rather than take it easy and wait for things to come to me. I'm all about the delayed gratitude.
I know that when I get my stuff together I will be able to do the things that I want and I will be able to see things that many other people don't get to see because I am willing to give up things now to have more in the end. I just don't think I know New Boy well enough to decide if he is that type of person yet. But then again I'm also not sure that there is any other man in my life (as of now) that would fit the description of what I want. The decision now is whether I should ride this thing out with New Boy and get the chance to know him better. Who knows, at this point I've just confused myself more about what I should and shouldn't do to give both myself and him a fair chance. But something tells me that going with your gut instinct usually is your best option.
I just keep flipping back and forth about what to do with him. On one hand I really do like him as a person but in reality I don't know what kind of person he is yet. And my gut instinct about him was that he was the kind of person who is always waiting for that big job that is coming up and the type of person that lives from day to day just getting by with the help of magical strokes of luck. I don't necessarily want to be in a relationship where I never know what circumstances of life are going to change in a given day.
I want a man like McMedic, I don't need to have a million dollars in the bank but I would like to not have to count pennies in order to have fun and go out from time to time. Also, I don't mind working hard and saving up to have the chance to go away and have a blast of a vacation. Traveling and seeing things that I've never seen before is one of my favorite things to do and one of the things that I like the most about McMedic and other people that I used to work with. They had the same kind of attitude that I do. I would rather work 24/7 for a while to earn money to get what I want rather than take it easy and wait for things to come to me. I'm all about the delayed gratitude.
I know that when I get my stuff together I will be able to do the things that I want and I will be able to see things that many other people don't get to see because I am willing to give up things now to have more in the end. I just don't think I know New Boy well enough to decide if he is that type of person yet. But then again I'm also not sure that there is any other man in my life (as of now) that would fit the description of what I want. The decision now is whether I should ride this thing out with New Boy and get the chance to know him better. Who knows, at this point I've just confused myself more about what I should and shouldn't do to give both myself and him a fair chance. But something tells me that going with your gut instinct usually is your best option.
Yeah, I May Have a Problem
I cannot have a normal night out... Me going to a bar is clearly never the best idea but anyway, it was a birthday, I had to go.
The night started with my friends playing a joke on me by telling me the Birthday Girl couldn't make it out, which really made all my running around after work pointless. So as I was standing outside the first bar of the night yelling at them for tricking me, I happened to look into the bar to see if there were a bunch of people or not. Most of the bar was empty but I did notice a good sized group in the one corner near the video games, also the area where McDirty and I sat a while back at one of his work functions.... O wait, someone over there looks very familiar. Now I do remember when I texted McDirty earlier in the day he did say that he couldn't come out because he had a work thing that night.... O yea, that's him sitting at the bar and now I'm forced to stand outside in the cold until my friends get there because I am NOT ok with walking in there and sitting down by myself with him there. He'd probably think I was stalking him.
So of course, once the girls got there, we walked in and since the bar was not that crowded he saw me automatically. But, luckily, we both pretended not to see each other as I quickly scanned to see if his girlfriend was sitting with them. Even more luckily she was not. Whew!! Anyway, we were there for about an hour and we ignored each other but of course when we left I quickly texted him to tease him about us being there at the same time. Once again, he amazed me with how quick he responded to my messages. Two years ago he wouldn't have said anything until the next time I saw him but o well, I shouldn't worry about it. It means nothing.
Next bar, next drama....So shortly after we sat down at the second bar, a much more casual, laid-back, hole in the wall bar a set of arms wraps around my shoulder as I'm sitting at the bar with my Jack and Coke. Automatically I have no idea who this is and fear comes across my friends faces. I turned and realized that it was a cop friend of mine, and I use the term friend loosely because he is basically old enough to be my father, if not my grandfather. Anyway he proceeds to hit on me for about half an hour at least and my friends are having a blast laughing at me and making jokes. Finally he leaves but not after stealing my phone number, which, I really don't mind because since he called me three times last night I now have his and he could be a valuable resource in getting my butt out of trouble some time. But clearly the creepy vibes I've been getting from him since I met him were warranted because he definitely tried to work come magic last night. Tried being the key word.
Third and final bar of the night..... So after a phone incident with JerkFace's girlfriend getting called because our names are so similar in the phone, she accidentally got a call and got called my name...which just so you know makes me laugh...HARD. Anywho, there was little drama at this bar but I did get to talk to my husband, the only one that I think I might actually have a chance with, probably because he's the only one that I actually know in real life. He called and we talked for about ten minutes and he told me that he won't be in town for my birthday but we will go out after to make up for it. Honestly, he really meant that the group of us would go out, clearly he did not mean for it to be the two of us. I wish!!!
Since by that point I was well on my way to being delirious from my lack of sleep and the beverages I had been downing, I decided this was the time to tell Maria that I really want to marry him and I was forcing her to answer the dreaded "Do you think I have a chance?" question. Bless her and her honesty because her (drunken) response was "I don't know." And that seemed to put things into perspective...Thankfully I didn't follow her advice and go ahead and ask him last night.. We'll save that embarrassment for another night.
The night started with my friends playing a joke on me by telling me the Birthday Girl couldn't make it out, which really made all my running around after work pointless. So as I was standing outside the first bar of the night yelling at them for tricking me, I happened to look into the bar to see if there were a bunch of people or not. Most of the bar was empty but I did notice a good sized group in the one corner near the video games, also the area where McDirty and I sat a while back at one of his work functions.... O wait, someone over there looks very familiar. Now I do remember when I texted McDirty earlier in the day he did say that he couldn't come out because he had a work thing that night.... O yea, that's him sitting at the bar and now I'm forced to stand outside in the cold until my friends get there because I am NOT ok with walking in there and sitting down by myself with him there. He'd probably think I was stalking him.
So of course, once the girls got there, we walked in and since the bar was not that crowded he saw me automatically. But, luckily, we both pretended not to see each other as I quickly scanned to see if his girlfriend was sitting with them. Even more luckily she was not. Whew!! Anyway, we were there for about an hour and we ignored each other but of course when we left I quickly texted him to tease him about us being there at the same time. Once again, he amazed me with how quick he responded to my messages. Two years ago he wouldn't have said anything until the next time I saw him but o well, I shouldn't worry about it. It means nothing.
Next bar, next drama....So shortly after we sat down at the second bar, a much more casual, laid-back, hole in the wall bar a set of arms wraps around my shoulder as I'm sitting at the bar with my Jack and Coke. Automatically I have no idea who this is and fear comes across my friends faces. I turned and realized that it was a cop friend of mine, and I use the term friend loosely because he is basically old enough to be my father, if not my grandfather. Anyway he proceeds to hit on me for about half an hour at least and my friends are having a blast laughing at me and making jokes. Finally he leaves but not after stealing my phone number, which, I really don't mind because since he called me three times last night I now have his and he could be a valuable resource in getting my butt out of trouble some time. But clearly the creepy vibes I've been getting from him since I met him were warranted because he definitely tried to work come magic last night. Tried being the key word.
Third and final bar of the night..... So after a phone incident with JerkFace's girlfriend getting called because our names are so similar in the phone, she accidentally got a call and got called my name...which just so you know makes me laugh...HARD. Anywho, there was little drama at this bar but I did get to talk to my husband, the only one that I think I might actually have a chance with, probably because he's the only one that I actually know in real life. He called and we talked for about ten minutes and he told me that he won't be in town for my birthday but we will go out after to make up for it. Honestly, he really meant that the group of us would go out, clearly he did not mean for it to be the two of us. I wish!!!
Since by that point I was well on my way to being delirious from my lack of sleep and the beverages I had been downing, I decided this was the time to tell Maria that I really want to marry him and I was forcing her to answer the dreaded "Do you think I have a chance?" question. Bless her and her honesty because her (drunken) response was "I don't know." And that seemed to put things into perspective...Thankfully I didn't follow her advice and go ahead and ask him last night.. We'll save that embarrassment for another night.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
It's that tine of year!!
So the birthday is coming up!!! I love birthdays because I get to pretend I'm shy for a day while people tell me happy birthday. And I know God gets me for it because it never fails at least once a year some one will say "Happy Birthday" to me and I'll respond with "You too!" like some kind of idiot who isn't paying attention to what people are saying... I'll have to make sure to be grateful this year and take all of the well wishes to heart.
Also, I think my birthday present to myself is going to be a BlackBerrt Curve...I haven't decided if I want pink or not...Still thinking. The primary reason for me to get a BlackBerry is to develop my writing skills because I really have let those fall to the side over the last couple of years. That's what happens when you forget to strive to full potential. What better way to encourage myself than with a pretty new phone that I can use to become a better contributor to sites like this. And to keep up with other sites like this, and news and fun stuff!
Also, I think my birthday present to myself is going to be a BlackBerrt Curve...I haven't decided if I want pink or not...Still thinking. The primary reason for me to get a BlackBerry is to develop my writing skills because I really have let those fall to the side over the last couple of years. That's what happens when you forget to strive to full potential. What better way to encourage myself than with a pretty new phone that I can use to become a better contributor to sites like this. And to keep up with other sites like this, and news and fun stuff!
Long Time, No Post
I really need to stop this slacking....
Updates:
- Dating a boy...boy has more issues than I do... not sure how to proceed... Mere doesn't approve, hasn't met him either... End result: Still feeling the waters.
- Night I met boy... He noticed the tension between me and McDirty, decided to bite my ear less than a foot away from McDirty.... McDirty sends angry text message... McDirty swears he's not angry... I act stupid and go see him twice since then... End result: He's basically treating me like and man would treat a woman he's been dating for two years.
- I will survive new job... would love to get new one to start in January... regular Monday - Friday daylight job, watch the new George on the weekend, school at night, studying at old George's house... It would work well, keep the fingers crossed... End result: Really need to call advisor and get back in school so these mindless jobs will end!!!
- Party for JerkFace's sister tomorrow...Can't drink b/c I'm DD and not sure anyone else is going to show up...End result: Fuck.
Updates:
- Dating a boy...boy has more issues than I do... not sure how to proceed... Mere doesn't approve, hasn't met him either... End result: Still feeling the waters.
- Night I met boy... He noticed the tension between me and McDirty, decided to bite my ear less than a foot away from McDirty.... McDirty sends angry text message... McDirty swears he's not angry... I act stupid and go see him twice since then... End result: He's basically treating me like and man would treat a woman he's been dating for two years.
- I will survive new job... would love to get new one to start in January... regular Monday - Friday daylight job, watch the new George on the weekend, school at night, studying at old George's house... It would work well, keep the fingers crossed... End result: Really need to call advisor and get back in school so these mindless jobs will end!!!
- Party for JerkFace's sister tomorrow...Can't drink b/c I'm DD and not sure anyone else is going to show up...End result: Fuck.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
McDirty Strikes Again!
So he did it again... Actually I started it but the fact is once again I was out and McDirty joined me with my friends. We had a few laughs, a few beers. It was a good time. Still makes me more and more confused every single day though.
We actually behaved ourselves for the most part and we just hung out and had a couple beers. It was the middle of the all day and all night drinking fest that we call the Triple Birthday... whole other story there. But the thing that made me most happy was the fact that JerkFace was there and saw me with McDirty which makes me really happy because even though I know nothing is going on with me and McDirty he doesn't know that!!! :)
We actually behaved ourselves for the most part and we just hung out and had a couple beers. It was the middle of the all day and all night drinking fest that we call the Triple Birthday... whole other story there. But the thing that made me most happy was the fact that JerkFace was there and saw me with McDirty which makes me really happy because even though I know nothing is going on with me and McDirty he doesn't know that!!! :)
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Top of the Line Automobile
Today I realized that I have something in my car that makes it one of the most rare and well-equipped vehicles in the Pittsburgh area. I have a freaking turn-signal.
Apparently very few other people that I now share morning and afternoon rush hours with have them in their vehicles. I feel privileged that I have this feature. Now if only there was a way to share the concept of turn signals with others. Or to help them realize that the tunnels will NOT get smaller as you drive through them. This in NOT Willy Wonka and there is no Gene Wilder wearing a purple suit hiding in the tunnels.
Apparently very few other people that I now share morning and afternoon rush hours with have them in their vehicles. I feel privileged that I have this feature. Now if only there was a way to share the concept of turn signals with others. Or to help them realize that the tunnels will NOT get smaller as you drive through them. This in NOT Willy Wonka and there is no Gene Wilder wearing a purple suit hiding in the tunnels.
Day 2
So today was Day 2 of my new job.... very bored and really thinking that the particular position that I chose is not what I want to be doing for an extended period of time. But then again I probably felt the same way when I was training for that dam job at the hospital. I don't really remember much of training except debating about whether I was going to wear my engagement ring or not while I waited for JerkFace to decide he wanted to give us another try. Anywho....
They do keep stressing the fact that there is room for advancement in the company, and the men who are in charge of things do seem to keep watching me strangely. Maybe it's their grand idea to put me in charge of their world and I just didn't get there yet.
Then there is the chance to go to class and do what my book character did and proceed with a clinical career....
Must talk to them about it later....
They do keep stressing the fact that there is room for advancement in the company, and the men who are in charge of things do seem to keep watching me strangely. Maybe it's their grand idea to put me in charge of their world and I just didn't get there yet.
Then there is the chance to go to class and do what my book character did and proceed with a clinical career....
Must talk to them about it later....
Friday, August 15, 2008
Signs
Yea I need out of my house..... I know I'm headed straight for hell for even thinking this but the noises that occur in my house make me crazy. Every three seconds my mother is coughing/sneezing/spitting/choking on God only knows what and if there really is something that she's choking on I really wish the doctors would find it and fix it already.
Gulliable
Why do I let people talk me into things???
So I let a woman at work talk me into something that I really never wanted to do!! She talked me into setting up a page on match.com and I'm really feeling awkward about it. So far, I've come across nothing that I really felt like pursuing. Except for one guy who I basically pissed off and he stopped talking to me. But the more I think about it, I think I only liked him because he was just like all the other guys I know. They just want sex and to have a girlfriend now and then when it's convenient for them. O well, I guess it really isn't my loss.
Anyway, I really can't believe that I might actually meet the man of my dreams just by looking at a profile on the Internet. It would by much more fulfilling to meet someone while doing charity work, or bumping into them at a restaurant or just catching their eye across a room. Or you know if he hits a home run into my hands while I'm watching him at a baseball game. OK OK, back to reality.
So once again I've decided to try and become involved in charities and volunteer work. The benefits of this are two fold. First there is the chance to meet new people who might fit my life a little better than the ones I"ve been spending time with. Secondly, it would be amazing to work for a charity and get to plan the events and fundraisers that actually benefit the public.
I have so many possibilities in my grasp right now that I think it can't hurt to keep pushing myself and see how much I actually can get into.
So I let a woman at work talk me into something that I really never wanted to do!! She talked me into setting up a page on match.com and I'm really feeling awkward about it. So far, I've come across nothing that I really felt like pursuing. Except for one guy who I basically pissed off and he stopped talking to me. But the more I think about it, I think I only liked him because he was just like all the other guys I know. They just want sex and to have a girlfriend now and then when it's convenient for them. O well, I guess it really isn't my loss.
Anyway, I really can't believe that I might actually meet the man of my dreams just by looking at a profile on the Internet. It would by much more fulfilling to meet someone while doing charity work, or bumping into them at a restaurant or just catching their eye across a room. Or you know if he hits a home run into my hands while I'm watching him at a baseball game. OK OK, back to reality.
So once again I've decided to try and become involved in charities and volunteer work. The benefits of this are two fold. First there is the chance to meet new people who might fit my life a little better than the ones I"ve been spending time with. Secondly, it would be amazing to work for a charity and get to plan the events and fundraisers that actually benefit the public.
I have so many possibilities in my grasp right now that I think it can't hurt to keep pushing myself and see how much I actually can get into.
Name Change
So my book, The Secret, tells me that the thoughts that stick in your head are basically predicting your future and the things you dwell on will continue to be present in your life. Therefore I know that the name Ms. Almost really has many many meanings but perhaps I should change my name to something that shows me being the woman that I really want to be in my life.
The problem now is trying to figure out what that name should be.
- Ms. Finally???
- Ms. Dam Right??
I don't know. So for now I'll remain Ms Almost until I come up with the new name that I like. Once again, I'm open to any suggestions. :)
The problem now is trying to figure out what that name should be.
- Ms. Finally???
- Ms. Dam Right??
I don't know. So for now I'll remain Ms Almost until I come up with the new name that I like. Once again, I'm open to any suggestions. :)
Advice Needed
So I want to start writing a column for a newspaper.... how do I go about doing that?? I honestly have no idea and I should have done this a long long time ago in college and perhaps I would actually have a clue what to do. I think I'm going to write an amazing letter to the freelance section of a couple newspapers and once they read them they are going to BEG me to write for them on a regular basis. But if anyone has any ideas I'd be more than happy to try them out too.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Birthday Time!!
So today is Meredith's birthday!! She's officially getting old and since I'm going to stop counting birthdays after next year, she'll catch up to me in no time. Right now we're both still debating what the heck we're gonna wear out tonight but we have our plans. I invited a bunch of people but we can have fun even if no one else comes! I'm still debating about buying the new shoes that I saw yesterday and kinda fell in love with. They're super dirty cute.
But I should really not be spending money that I don't have....... But with Mere's discount it's all good!!! I'll probably end up buying them and never knowing what to wear them with.
Unemployed
Ok so really I'm not completely unemployed but I have been off since Sunday and I don't go into work until Saturday. Its kinda strange, I kinda like it and when I do marry one of my husbands I can definitely get used to not working. Of course I'd do charity work and keep myself busy but not having a job or boss would be amazing.
Also I've been trying to teach myself to get up early instead of sleeping all morning so that it's not quite as bad when I start waking up at 630am next week.
Also I've been trying to teach myself to get up early instead of sleeping all morning so that it's not quite as bad when I start waking up at 630am next week.
Friday, August 8, 2008
My Husbands
Yes, I know I sound like a polygamist from the west but I have several men that I've decided must be my husbands just because I said so. Clearly there is no one else that could take care of these men like I can and they are all just pretending to be happy with these other people until we build our big estate just outside of Pittsburgh where we could all live happily ever after.
Lately I think PittGirl is trying to take over some of my men. Actually, there are several of my husbands that she hasn't self-united with yet but last week she decided to claim Dougy from my Pirates. My original husband was a Pittsburgh Pirate for quite a few years so I feel a special claim to them. Right now I have a few, especially since I found out that Ryan Doumit is actually in my age range.... And let me tell you, he might just be more attractive than my cheating husband Nate. But Ryan is sort of on that level where he is almost too attractive to try and marry, even on the imaginary level. But now that I know he is my age, and not legally married, I have added him to my list of husbands.
Originally it was Jason Kendall, an amazing All-Star catcher for the Pirates and one of the only few bright spots on the team for quite a few years. I'm not sure what it was about him that made me fall in love but I think it has something to do with the fact that I loooooove men in uniform. Be it baseball, football, or police uniforms are NICE! Anyway in my fantasy world I would sit at the games every night and cheer him on, quietly, so the other wives wouldn't be jealous. And then we would ride home after he stopped outside the stadium to sign autographs and then we would go home and eventually have some kids that I could tote to the ball park for games.
Another of my husbands was ex-Penguin Kevin Stevens. I think this one was the start of my love of bad boys. We all know his story and his age isn't the only reason it would have been a little awkward to introduce him to Mom and Dad. When he reunited with the Pens for a couple years we were in my imaginary world working on our relationship and I was supporting him in an awkward time in his life.
While I was actually engaged, real world this time...not my fantasy, there weren't many men who I made my husbands because I had a real one on the way. But there was one guy who I just could not get out of my head and I knew in the back of my mind that he was one of my husbands. He was a contestant on American Idol and he had the most amazing voice. Sure enough today he's a world famous singer, Chris Daughtry. Absolutely love him and whenever I listen to his CD on my shower radio I imagine him singing to me on stage at one of his shows. [Sidebar, I actually went to see him and Bon Jovi a few months ago in concert and I was literally feet away from him thanks to the awesome seats that one of my friends real husbands got us for a whopping $5!!!]
By this point I think you can tell that I have a certain type of man that I am insanely attracted to. I like the men who speak their mind, don't back down and aren't afraid to get dirty. I like the trouble and the danger that men can bring to my life. That probably explains why I have such bad luck in real life.
Now I have my new Alaskan husband, Blake, who seems to be a big time good guy. He saves people on sinking ships and works his mega-cute butt off catching fish. But still he has the dangerous side being that he fishes in 40 foot waves in the middle of the freaking Alaskian ocean. But in my world, the night we met, I had a lovely time while he showed me around his ship, the place he goes when he is forced to leave me and make the big bucks.
Then there is Nate..... I don't know much about him in real life except for the fact that he's been cheating on me.
OMG! I almost forgot my husband that I sort of work with!! I could I ever do that! I claimed him as my husband the first time I saw him bring a truly critical patient into the ER. The only sad part is that I've been calling him my husband for so long that most of the people that know us call us married (real life girlfriend doesn't enjoy that) and I can't even think of him in that way anymore because he's such a really really good friend. But he is my husband.
Lately I think PittGirl is trying to take over some of my men. Actually, there are several of my husbands that she hasn't self-united with yet but last week she decided to claim Dougy from my Pirates. My original husband was a Pittsburgh Pirate for quite a few years so I feel a special claim to them. Right now I have a few, especially since I found out that Ryan Doumit is actually in my age range.... And let me tell you, he might just be more attractive than my cheating husband Nate. But Ryan is sort of on that level where he is almost too attractive to try and marry, even on the imaginary level. But now that I know he is my age, and not legally married, I have added him to my list of husbands.
Originally it was Jason Kendall, an amazing All-Star catcher for the Pirates and one of the only few bright spots on the team for quite a few years. I'm not sure what it was about him that made me fall in love but I think it has something to do with the fact that I loooooove men in uniform. Be it baseball, football, or police uniforms are NICE! Anyway in my fantasy world I would sit at the games every night and cheer him on, quietly, so the other wives wouldn't be jealous. And then we would ride home after he stopped outside the stadium to sign autographs and then we would go home and eventually have some kids that I could tote to the ball park for games.
Another of my husbands was ex-Penguin Kevin Stevens. I think this one was the start of my love of bad boys. We all know his story and his age isn't the only reason it would have been a little awkward to introduce him to Mom and Dad. When he reunited with the Pens for a couple years we were in my imaginary world working on our relationship and I was supporting him in an awkward time in his life.
While I was actually engaged, real world this time...not my fantasy, there weren't many men who I made my husbands because I had a real one on the way. But there was one guy who I just could not get out of my head and I knew in the back of my mind that he was one of my husbands. He was a contestant on American Idol and he had the most amazing voice. Sure enough today he's a world famous singer, Chris Daughtry. Absolutely love him and whenever I listen to his CD on my shower radio I imagine him singing to me on stage at one of his shows. [Sidebar, I actually went to see him and Bon Jovi a few months ago in concert and I was literally feet away from him thanks to the awesome seats that one of my friends real husbands got us for a whopping $5!!!]
By this point I think you can tell that I have a certain type of man that I am insanely attracted to. I like the men who speak their mind, don't back down and aren't afraid to get dirty. I like the trouble and the danger that men can bring to my life. That probably explains why I have such bad luck in real life.
Now I have my new Alaskan husband, Blake, who seems to be a big time good guy. He saves people on sinking ships and works his mega-cute butt off catching fish. But still he has the dangerous side being that he fishes in 40 foot waves in the middle of the freaking Alaskian ocean. But in my world, the night we met, I had a lovely time while he showed me around his ship, the place he goes when he is forced to leave me and make the big bucks.
Then there is Nate..... I don't know much about him in real life except for the fact that he's been cheating on me.
OMG! I almost forgot my husband that I sort of work with!! I could I ever do that! I claimed him as my husband the first time I saw him bring a truly critical patient into the ER. The only sad part is that I've been calling him my husband for so long that most of the people that know us call us married (real life girlfriend doesn't enjoy that) and I can't even think of him in that way anymore because he's such a really really good friend. But he is my husband.
What if...
Ok so lets just throw this out there real quick because this is the last time I'm gonna talk about it...... Today was supposed to be my wedding. I'm over it... lets have no further mention of it today.
Anyways, instead today is my last day at the hospital. I'm working daylight which is strange for me because I'm an evening person but this does mean I get to go home and watch the Steeler game after work. (FYI... amazing site full of drunken pictures of athletes...www.drunkathlete.com....I know the URL is a little predictable.) I've already seen who my real friends are. One of the girls I work with brought in a cake already and I have a feeling there could be more suprises in store. I'm not saying that I want presents or anything but just the fact that people are willing to do something nice for me makes me feel good and makes me feel like I might have done something right while I've been here.
Anyways, instead today is my last day at the hospital. I'm working daylight which is strange for me because I'm an evening person but this does mean I get to go home and watch the Steeler game after work. (FYI... amazing site full of drunken pictures of athletes...www.drunkathlete.com....I know the URL is a little predictable.) I've already seen who my real friends are. One of the girls I work with brought in a cake already and I have a feeling there could be more suprises in store. I'm not saying that I want presents or anything but just the fact that people are willing to do something nice for me makes me feel good and makes me feel like I might have done something right while I've been here.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Are you ready for some...
FOOTBALL!!!!
OK I love the Steelers just as much as all the crazy people who make signs and publicly beg to have the Steelers babies but I have to admit that the first pre-season game is not really exciting me. The big guys are either not going to be playing or they will only be in for the first few minutes. So I'll admit right now that I will probably lose interest after all my husbands have been safely placed on the sidelines and perhaps I will go have an alcoholic beverage to celebrate my leaving the hospital...
FYI!!!! I can wear jeans at my new job!!!! :)
OK I love the Steelers just as much as all the crazy people who make signs and publicly beg to have the Steelers babies but I have to admit that the first pre-season game is not really exciting me. The big guys are either not going to be playing or they will only be in for the first few minutes. So I'll admit right now that I will probably lose interest after all my husbands have been safely placed on the sidelines and perhaps I will go have an alcoholic beverage to celebrate my leaving the hospital...
FYI!!!! I can wear jeans at my new job!!!! :)
Meet McSlacker
OK so I've Mc'd myself because I'm so bad at keeping up with this. Anywho....
~ McDirty is an ass. Yes I should have known this for a long time but it just sunk in. The super short version of what happened is that he has now come out with me and my work friends as well as me and my friends from when I was with JerkFace. AWKWARD!!! But then he has the nerve to tell me that I need to say no to him because what we're doing is wrong. Ok Butthead, just remember that when I make myself look like sex on a stick and tell you you can't have any!! See how you like it then!!! :)
~ Totally trying to be productive today..... called my new job, no answer. Called school.....no answer. Emailed soon to be ex-boss, no answer. Basically I'm still stuck where I was. Maybe that's why i procrastinate.
~ Decided to stay casual at the hospital. Driving over here once every week or so won't be so bad. But still looking to find a cute apartment over near the new job. Because my road rage really won't handle driving across the city everyday.
~ Anyone know if the bed frames that IKEA sells fit regular ordinary mattresses?? I really like one of the bed frames but I have a mattress already and I don't want to buy a new one. Also love the little special sales that IKEA has in the back of the catalogue. I might have to just get one of my husbands to buy me all the things on the pages that I have dog eared. That's the price they pay for getting to have me!!
~ McDirty is an ass. Yes I should have known this for a long time but it just sunk in. The super short version of what happened is that he has now come out with me and my work friends as well as me and my friends from when I was with JerkFace. AWKWARD!!! But then he has the nerve to tell me that I need to say no to him because what we're doing is wrong. Ok Butthead, just remember that when I make myself look like sex on a stick and tell you you can't have any!! See how you like it then!!! :)
~ Totally trying to be productive today..... called my new job, no answer. Called school.....no answer. Emailed soon to be ex-boss, no answer. Basically I'm still stuck where I was. Maybe that's why i procrastinate.
~ Decided to stay casual at the hospital. Driving over here once every week or so won't be so bad. But still looking to find a cute apartment over near the new job. Because my road rage really won't handle driving across the city everyday.
~ Anyone know if the bed frames that IKEA sells fit regular ordinary mattresses?? I really like one of the bed frames but I have a mattress already and I don't want to buy a new one. Also love the little special sales that IKEA has in the back of the catalogue. I might have to just get one of my husbands to buy me all the things on the pages that I have dog eared. That's the price they pay for getting to have me!!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Long time no see..........
Recap of my life since I've been too busy/lazy to write on here:
~ Vacation was good. All I wanted was a tan and I definitely got that but I'm working on keeping it now that I am back. Really wish I would have had better planning but it's all good. I'll just know better for next time. What I really want to do is plan a girls trip for next summer, well at least me and Meredith because at this point I think she might be the only one who would actually have her stuff together to do something like that.
~ Funny drama: So I was bad and I talked to McDirty a few nights while I was on vacation and I basically told him I would come see him after I got home. Well, I got home Friday evening and Meredith and I decided to go out to our new spot for a couple drinks.......** Sidebar: The manager of my new hang out is good friend with McDirty and on opening night I spilled the beans about me and McDirty's super-secret relationship. Now that manager, we'll call him Big Mouth, likes to make comments to me about McDirty and I think it's all just going to end badly.**............ I was feeling super cute with my tan and Meredith and I were enjoying the $2 drink specials when Big Mouth came over and announced that McDirty and his girlfriend were on their way up. Immediately I was panicked, the thought of being in the same place with them had crossed my mind but I always just ignored it. I had no idea how things would go but I heart Drama so I told Meredith that we should stay and we did, I watched them walk past us as I hid and I slyly kept an eye on them for a while but decided that it was in my best interest to not know where they were. Eventually I figured they had probably left and Big Mouth informed me that yes, they had left already.
So the next night was the night that I had told McDirty that I would come see him. And so I did, looking sweet and innocent. Yes, I took him candy and talked to him just like we always do. Eventually, after we had talked a little, he asked if Meredith and I were out the night before because he thought he saw her. Of course he did. I made her go to get our drinks while him and his woman were standing at the bar. Because he knows if Meredith is there, I'm not far behind. The night was nice, we chatted and joked. Eventually I got a message from a friend of mine who was having people at her house and she said I could bring people if I wanted. I never in a million years expected him to say yes so I asked McDirty and after he thought about it a while, he said he would come for just a little while so he followed me to her house and we sat there having a couple drinks and laughing. But this is where it hit a strange place for me. I had gone out with him and his friends before but that was the first time he had gone somewhere with me. It felt so strange to be in public with him............. Not sure if its good or bad strange. So tonight I think I am going out, but I'm trying to stay away from places he might be because I'm making him do the work now..... no more me being nice!!
~ I think I've reached a decision that I need to get an apartment near my new job. The number one reason is because of my severe road rage and the fact that if I sit in traffic every day I probably will be arrested and my beautiful SUV might get a ding or two. Suprisingly, a friend of mine is subleting her apartment right near my new job because she is studying abroad in the fall. I may have to investigate further. ..........
~ Vacation was good. All I wanted was a tan and I definitely got that but I'm working on keeping it now that I am back. Really wish I would have had better planning but it's all good. I'll just know better for next time. What I really want to do is plan a girls trip for next summer, well at least me and Meredith because at this point I think she might be the only one who would actually have her stuff together to do something like that.
~ Funny drama: So I was bad and I talked to McDirty a few nights while I was on vacation and I basically told him I would come see him after I got home. Well, I got home Friday evening and Meredith and I decided to go out to our new spot for a couple drinks.......** Sidebar: The manager of my new hang out is good friend with McDirty and on opening night I spilled the beans about me and McDirty's super-secret relationship. Now that manager, we'll call him Big Mouth, likes to make comments to me about McDirty and I think it's all just going to end badly.**............ I was feeling super cute with my tan and Meredith and I were enjoying the $2 drink specials when Big Mouth came over and announced that McDirty and his girlfriend were on their way up. Immediately I was panicked, the thought of being in the same place with them had crossed my mind but I always just ignored it. I had no idea how things would go but I heart Drama so I told Meredith that we should stay and we did, I watched them walk past us as I hid and I slyly kept an eye on them for a while but decided that it was in my best interest to not know where they were. Eventually I figured they had probably left and Big Mouth informed me that yes, they had left already.
So the next night was the night that I had told McDirty that I would come see him. And so I did, looking sweet and innocent. Yes, I took him candy and talked to him just like we always do. Eventually, after we had talked a little, he asked if Meredith and I were out the night before because he thought he saw her. Of course he did. I made her go to get our drinks while him and his woman were standing at the bar. Because he knows if Meredith is there, I'm not far behind. The night was nice, we chatted and joked. Eventually I got a message from a friend of mine who was having people at her house and she said I could bring people if I wanted. I never in a million years expected him to say yes so I asked McDirty and after he thought about it a while, he said he would come for just a little while so he followed me to her house and we sat there having a couple drinks and laughing. But this is where it hit a strange place for me. I had gone out with him and his friends before but that was the first time he had gone somewhere with me. It felt so strange to be in public with him............. Not sure if its good or bad strange. So tonight I think I am going out, but I'm trying to stay away from places he might be because I'm making him do the work now..... no more me being nice!!
~ I think I've reached a decision that I need to get an apartment near my new job. The number one reason is because of my severe road rage and the fact that if I sit in traffic every day I probably will be arrested and my beautiful SUV might get a ding or two. Suprisingly, a friend of mine is subleting her apartment right near my new job because she is studying abroad in the fall. I may have to investigate further. ..........
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
McCheater
So last night I was enjoying a few beverages with some of my friends and one of them shattered my world. She told me that she had met my husband Nate McLouth's girlfriend. Clearly there is only one explanation for this... He's cheating on me.
You know he really does need to be my husband besides the cheating thing because think about it. His name already has a Mc.
He and I will be discussing his so-called girlfriend the next time I see him.
You know he really does need to be my husband besides the cheating thing because think about it. His name already has a Mc.
He and I will be discussing his so-called girlfriend the next time I see him.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Escorted out VIP Style
So last night was a first for me. I love firsts, they are always fun to laugh about the next day and the next few times you drink. Last night was the first time I was escorted out of a club for not doing anything wrong. {Sidebar: I am not an alcoholic. Its just that nothing worth writing about really happens in the other parts of my life. Except for some of the men stuff... McRockstar/McGiant..... Anywho}
I went to a club with Meredith and two of her guy friends. And everything was fine until I ran into someone I went to high school with at the bathrooms and both he and one of the guys we were with went to the bathroom. Things seemed to go just fine until after the high school guy came out he wanted to pick a fight with Meredith's friend.
I diffused the situation using the skills I learned in college (see I did get something out of that degree). Then every time we went to a different part of the club he said something to us, which got old real fast and made me remember why I haven't seen that man in at least 6 years.
Finally a little after 1am we were going to the bathroom and the scene got very intense with screaming and insults. Which lead to my charming personality sweet talking the head of security to throw high school boy out and us having not one or even two guards walk us to our cars but five very muscular security guards walking us to our cars. Plus I even got a hug from the head of security who is pretty cute but I'm almost positive that he is dating the poor lifeguard girl who was stuck sitting on the perch opening night when it was about 50' out.
But whatev! We got had a VIP exit and maybe next time I'll find out if cute security guy is going to become McSecurity. ;)
McGiant
So last night started with fun drama with my Meredith (I'll get to that later) but apparently it ended with me texting McGiant for about an hour and then me falling asleep during that conversation. But.... we started the talking again in the morning when I got up to go get drug tested for my new job. So that reminded me that I needed to write about McGiant on here because apparently my subconscious mind is still attracted to him.
McGiant was the first (and only) guy that I've actually dated since my breakup with JerkFace( yes, i know I still have to write his and I think I'm almost to the point where I can do it). He is another guy that I would see at work from time to time and we always flirted, because I like to.
But he was charming and I learned his schedule so that I knew when he was working so that I could dress up and one day I seriously even went and bought a new shirt because I knew he was going to be working. And so I wore that shirt to work that night and sure enough, he gave me his number and told me that if I wanted to go for a drink some time to call him. I didn't even make it past the rest of the day at work before I texted and we ended up going for drinks that night.
We sat at the bar talking and he paid for my drinks and then when they were closing he asked if I wanted to go and talk some more at Eat n Park. Since that is practically the only Eat n Park that closes we got to sit there for almost an hour and after that he walked me to my car and hugged me goodbye. It was actually refreshing that night that he didn't try to kiss me and I really liked the fact that he was a gentleman.
After that night we would talk at least once a day, especially when he was at his other job because he worked night turn by himself. So I would lay in bed talking to him until I fell asleep. Then we had our standing date on Monday nights because we got off of work half an hour apart. So we would meet at EatnPark at "our" table and eat, smoke and BS with each other from the time we got there until they closed.
Then he started to introduce me to his friends AND family. I was nervous about going into another relationship but he was always so good. We went to parties, hockey games and the local hang outs just as happy as can be. I spent days drinking with his friends girlfriends while the guys were out playing paintball and nights drinking with his sister and her husband. (I should have expected something was slightly off though when she asked if I wanted to try on her wedding dress the first time I met her.)
Anyway things were fine for about four months until he suddenly stopped talking about his friend's upcoming wedding which I just assumed we were going to together. Then one night one of his friends girlfriends called me and dropped the bomb. McGiant had asked her boyfriend what a girl name "Jamie" should wear to said wedding. Clearly I was no longer invited to the wedding and after that point we didn't even acknowledge each other for about four months.
But what really sucked about that was the fact that I was still hearing from his friends while he and Jamie got more and more serious. So I was a bitch and ignored them and months later we became social again.
However, recently, we've become much more flirty again and I'm wondering what is going to come of that. Especially after my drunken text messages last night (which I'm blaming on the Red Bull) because even though I was drunk, I knew the conversation was very sketchy to say the least.
So we shall see what this brings but really, the worst thing that can happen is I flirt with him and get his hopes up and then crush them by reminding him about Jamie. :)
McGiant was the first (and only) guy that I've actually dated since my breakup with JerkFace( yes, i know I still have to write his and I think I'm almost to the point where I can do it). He is another guy that I would see at work from time to time and we always flirted, because I like to.
But he was charming and I learned his schedule so that I knew when he was working so that I could dress up and one day I seriously even went and bought a new shirt because I knew he was going to be working. And so I wore that shirt to work that night and sure enough, he gave me his number and told me that if I wanted to go for a drink some time to call him. I didn't even make it past the rest of the day at work before I texted and we ended up going for drinks that night.
We sat at the bar talking and he paid for my drinks and then when they were closing he asked if I wanted to go and talk some more at Eat n Park. Since that is practically the only Eat n Park that closes we got to sit there for almost an hour and after that he walked me to my car and hugged me goodbye. It was actually refreshing that night that he didn't try to kiss me and I really liked the fact that he was a gentleman.
After that night we would talk at least once a day, especially when he was at his other job because he worked night turn by himself. So I would lay in bed talking to him until I fell asleep. Then we had our standing date on Monday nights because we got off of work half an hour apart. So we would meet at EatnPark at "our" table and eat, smoke and BS with each other from the time we got there until they closed.
Then he started to introduce me to his friends AND family. I was nervous about going into another relationship but he was always so good. We went to parties, hockey games and the local hang outs just as happy as can be. I spent days drinking with his friends girlfriends while the guys were out playing paintball and nights drinking with his sister and her husband. (I should have expected something was slightly off though when she asked if I wanted to try on her wedding dress the first time I met her.)
Anyway things were fine for about four months until he suddenly stopped talking about his friend's upcoming wedding which I just assumed we were going to together. Then one night one of his friends girlfriends called me and dropped the bomb. McGiant had asked her boyfriend what a girl name "Jamie" should wear to said wedding. Clearly I was no longer invited to the wedding and after that point we didn't even acknowledge each other for about four months.
But what really sucked about that was the fact that I was still hearing from his friends while he and Jamie got more and more serious. So I was a bitch and ignored them and months later we became social again.
However, recently, we've become much more flirty again and I'm wondering what is going to come of that. Especially after my drunken text messages last night (which I'm blaming on the Red Bull) because even though I was drunk, I knew the conversation was very sketchy to say the least.
So we shall see what this brings but really, the worst thing that can happen is I flirt with him and get his hopes up and then crush them by reminding him about Jamie. :)
Woo Hoo!!
Seems like I haven't been on here in forever! Just a little update.... I accepted a new job because I really feel that if I were to stay at the one I have now I would most certainly do one of three things....
1. Physically harm a co-worker
2. Be committed
3. Hurt myself
So I accepted a job that really isn't a step up the career ladder but it it more money. And I'm sure that it will take me at least a couple months to start to dislike the people I'll be working with out there. So happily I'll be leaving at the beginning of August and start my new job in the middle of August. Yeah me!
Truly, things have gotten so bad here that I cannot physically keep my mouth shut anymore. I snap at co-workers who are more than happy to stab me in the back no matter how many times I've bailed their ass out. I really hope they remember that when karma takes over and gives them what they deserve because I am working hard to move on and be the better person. I know that I am better than that. I come to work and do my job everyday. Now that I've gotten to the point where I cannot handle the drama and bull that they try to dish out, its time for me to go.
All in all this is a happy thing for me because I know there is no future in the position I've been in for two years now. I will have a better career and this is just something that I needed to teach me. I've learned so much working here, most importantly that I know my limits in stressful situations that test people.
I will dearly miss the people who I have built friendships with but I know that even after we say goodbye at work, those people who are my true friends will still be there with me.
1. Physically harm a co-worker
2. Be committed
3. Hurt myself
So I accepted a job that really isn't a step up the career ladder but it it more money. And I'm sure that it will take me at least a couple months to start to dislike the people I'll be working with out there. So happily I'll be leaving at the beginning of August and start my new job in the middle of August. Yeah me!
Truly, things have gotten so bad here that I cannot physically keep my mouth shut anymore. I snap at co-workers who are more than happy to stab me in the back no matter how many times I've bailed their ass out. I really hope they remember that when karma takes over and gives them what they deserve because I am working hard to move on and be the better person. I know that I am better than that. I come to work and do my job everyday. Now that I've gotten to the point where I cannot handle the drama and bull that they try to dish out, its time for me to go.
All in all this is a happy thing for me because I know there is no future in the position I've been in for two years now. I will have a better career and this is just something that I needed to teach me. I've learned so much working here, most importantly that I know my limits in stressful situations that test people.
I will dearly miss the people who I have built friendships with but I know that even after we say goodbye at work, those people who are my true friends will still be there with me.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
I <3 McRockstar
So the other day, McRockstar did come in :) He's so dam cute and charismatic that of course I ended up flirting with him while he was here and then talking to him until 3 in the morning. And now I know he is working today and he said he would stop by but he's been a no-show so far tonight. But he did send me a goofy joke text message to me and I sent a cute message back but I'm considering texting him again (which I know is bad) and teasing him because he hasn't been here yet tonight. So I'll probably end up doing it and living the disaster that will come from that.
He's just so good at flirting and complementing people and getting on their good side. And even though I know he is completely playing me, I eat it up and he's got me wrapped around his finger. I guess this is just my whole starving for attention thing that I've been trying to figure out and deal with. Meredith would say that I need to tell him to get away from him because I'm too good for him but, I just keep telling myself that I'm playing his game too. He's just better at it.
He's just so good at flirting and complementing people and getting on their good side. And even though I know he is completely playing me, I eat it up and he's got me wrapped around his finger. I guess this is just my whole starving for attention thing that I've been trying to figure out and deal with. Meredith would say that I need to tell him to get away from him because I'm too good for him but, I just keep telling myself that I'm playing his game too. He's just better at it.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Random Updates
~ Well, I've decided that it's over with me and McRockstar. Actually not really because he's so dam appealing that I can never say no to him. But the goal here is that I'm giving him until the end of this week to do something about us and if there is nothing by then, I'm over it. Not at all really but I'll pretend to be over it and then of course he'll want my attention and then I'm going to see how this hard-to-get thing works. I'll ignore him and if what people tell me is true, he'll be falling all over me, and then I'll build self-confidence by not letting him have me!
~ McDirty still isn't really speaking to me. I'm also gonna let him go too. We've had our fun and I think it's run its course. Plus this whole being a responsible adult thing means that I need to move on with everything that is not helping me get to where I want to be. Even though I have no idea where I want to be.
~ I started reading The Secret a couple days ago (after I finally found the bookstore that was supposed to be cheaper but I still ended up paying the same price as Walmart, so I should have just gone there). I haven't really gotten too far into it but the basic idea that I've gotten from the book so far is that it's about the Law of Attraction and how if you think positive thoughts and thoughts of what you want out of life, those things will be attracted to you. I haven't learned yet how to think those thoughts instead of the thoughts about why the hell are things out to get me.
~ Also, Meredith and I have had a plan for the last couple years that we will write a book about how we got through our break ups that will help other girls go through it since we've already been there. That, and I've decided that I keep saying how my life would make such a good reality show but instead I'm gonna do it the old fashioned way and write about my life and all the ridiculous things that have happened but make it even more crazy by having my character say and do all the things that I really dream about doing but haven't had the guts to do. Since I've been bailed on once again, my plan is to get it started now and then I'll have a whole week to work on it while I lay on the beach trying desperately to tan my horribly white skin.
~ After spending a good bit of time last night budgeting my next three paychecks I think I will barely be able to scrape by and pay all of my bills that are coming and still have a few bucks to spend on vacation. God knows I do not want to end up back in the mess that I got in after my disastrous trip to the beach with JerkFace. It took months to get caught up on everything and I ended up with more overdraft charges than I can ever deal with again!
~ McDirty still isn't really speaking to me. I'm also gonna let him go too. We've had our fun and I think it's run its course. Plus this whole being a responsible adult thing means that I need to move on with everything that is not helping me get to where I want to be. Even though I have no idea where I want to be.
~ I started reading The Secret a couple days ago (after I finally found the bookstore that was supposed to be cheaper but I still ended up paying the same price as Walmart, so I should have just gone there). I haven't really gotten too far into it but the basic idea that I've gotten from the book so far is that it's about the Law of Attraction and how if you think positive thoughts and thoughts of what you want out of life, those things will be attracted to you. I haven't learned yet how to think those thoughts instead of the thoughts about why the hell are things out to get me.
~ Also, Meredith and I have had a plan for the last couple years that we will write a book about how we got through our break ups that will help other girls go through it since we've already been there. That, and I've decided that I keep saying how my life would make such a good reality show but instead I'm gonna do it the old fashioned way and write about my life and all the ridiculous things that have happened but make it even more crazy by having my character say and do all the things that I really dream about doing but haven't had the guts to do. Since I've been bailed on once again, my plan is to get it started now and then I'll have a whole week to work on it while I lay on the beach trying desperately to tan my horribly white skin.
~ After spending a good bit of time last night budgeting my next three paychecks I think I will barely be able to scrape by and pay all of my bills that are coming and still have a few bucks to spend on vacation. God knows I do not want to end up back in the mess that I got in after my disastrous trip to the beach with JerkFace. It took months to get caught up on everything and I ended up with more overdraft charges than I can ever deal with again!
Fate Strikes Again!.....Not in a good way
Once again I did not get a job that was perfect for me. This time I can't blame it on the monster that is my current employer. Even though I am convinced that they are the reason I have not been offered any of the jobs I have interviewed for recently.
This most recent one was taken when I applied for it. The person that got it better be freaking Mother Theresa incarnate.....no not really. I'm not that mean and I'm sure the person is really good at their job but I'm just getting desperate here for a chance to show someone how hard I can work and how much I could accomplish if I was just given the chance.
So for now I sit here waiting and blogging, and looking up other jobs, and thinking about writing, and hoping that McRockstar would come visit us at work today................
This most recent one was taken when I applied for it. The person that got it better be freaking Mother Theresa incarnate.....no not really. I'm not that mean and I'm sure the person is really good at their job but I'm just getting desperate here for a chance to show someone how hard I can work and how much I could accomplish if I was just given the chance.
So for now I sit here waiting and blogging, and looking up other jobs, and thinking about writing, and hoping that McRockstar would come visit us at work today................
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Perfect Job
So yesterday I managed to find a job that is absolutely perfect for me, now I just need to MAKE them give it to me. Really, the job was modeled after things I would love to do. Organize public events. Hold town hall meetings. Build a community through volunteer work and good deeds.
I just wrote my cover letter and they need a writing sample as well so I'll probably be working on that tomorrow since I'm off. Maybe this was the big chance I've been waiting for. Maybe this is the reason that my EMT classes didn't work out...
PS- Talked to the guy that my fairy god mother wants me to date. The more I think about it he would probably be a really great boyfriend but now I'm really nervous about how to go about it. I'll enlist Meredith and Izzy to help me sink my teeth in!
I just wrote my cover letter and they need a writing sample as well so I'll probably be working on that tomorrow since I'm off. Maybe this was the big chance I've been waiting for. Maybe this is the reason that my EMT classes didn't work out...
PS- Talked to the guy that my fairy god mother wants me to date. The more I think about it he would probably be a really great boyfriend but now I'm really nervous about how to go about it. I'll enlist Meredith and Izzy to help me sink my teeth in!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Scratch that....
So as excited as I am about the EMT class, I think I'm going to have to wait and take it another time. I know Izzy is gonna be mad but I don't think that I have the time in my life for it right now. She was the one who picked to take that class at those times and it works for her (except the Saturdays) but I just can't manage it right now.
The money that I could lose from not taking the class right now is nothing compared to the money that my mom would be out from the vacation that she already paid for. And I think there are enough circumstances in my life that it might be possible for me to take a later course and maybe one that is more appropriate for me.
The money that I could lose from not taking the class right now is nothing compared to the money that my mom would be out from the vacation that she already paid for. And I think there are enough circumstances in my life that it might be possible for me to take a later course and maybe one that is more appropriate for me.
Money Bags!
Hey, if your name is Money Bags, I need you!! I really don't know what to do at this point about vacation, and class. The two WILL NOT work out together. But if I wasn't so poor I really wouldn't be mad about it.
The Kite Runner
I know I'm about two years late on reading The Kite Runner but I tend to stay away from things that are hyped up during the hype because I'm afraid I'll be disappointed. But I did hear so much about this book, including a certain person whose opinion I truly value, so I decided to read it.
I started yesterday while we were waiting at the doctors office and I really got into it. I read about 100 pages while we were sitting there and it was absolutely nothing like what I thought it would be. Also I didn't realize that it was a fictional story and not an autobiography.
As naive as it may sound I was taken back by the modern life that the main character leads. I'm just starting to get into the section of the book where the problems start. So I really wish there were a few more hours in my day because the school books have to come first, even though they are a lot heavier to carry around with me!
I started yesterday while we were waiting at the doctors office and I really got into it. I read about 100 pages while we were sitting there and it was absolutely nothing like what I thought it would be. Also I didn't realize that it was a fictional story and not an autobiography.
As naive as it may sound I was taken back by the modern life that the main character leads. I'm just starting to get into the section of the book where the problems start. So I really wish there were a few more hours in my day because the school books have to come first, even though they are a lot heavier to carry around with me!
First Day of School
Well, today was the first day of my EMT class. Surprisingly, we actually did things on the first day of class. I had been planning on getting home early, maybe even stopping by Dad's doctors appointment but we were there the full time which is OK because the things we went over today would completely bore me and now we can just jump into more class work on Thursday for the next class.
The thing that was really annoying is the fact that the book cost more than the course itself. But my friend that's taking the class with me and I are going to share it so it won't be too bad.... (sidebar: friend that is in my class, we're gonna call her Izzy from now on because it fits and it's appropriate for the friendship).
And I also thought that the class only had one Saturday class. Instead it's 8 hours EVERY SATURDAY! This creates many problems... First I usually work every Saturday and the class isn't over until two hours into my shift (Poor Izzy usually doubles on Saturdays). Secondly, you are only allowed to miss so many hours of class and I have a vacation scheduled for seven days in July. So that's gonna suck and the first day of vacation is a Saturday that we would be learning extraction from a car, so this vacation keeps turning into a bigger and bigger disaster. Looks like I'm gonna miss a few days of it. I haven't told work about the Saturday thing yet but I'm hoping I can switch shifts with people and make it all work out. Otherwise I'm out the money I paid for the class because you aren't able to take the state test if you miss too many hours.
OK enough with that bitching. I'm really looking forward to getting this training over with so that I can start a new career because I'm going to lose my mind if I stay at this one too much longer. And I am excited about the possibilities that come with learning new skills and how many ways there are to go once you have the education.
I started reading today when I got home from class and the goal is to read everything that I need for the next class or two by tomorrow so that I can pass the book off to Izzy on her way home from work and school. The amount of course work is actually surprising too because they are squeezing a three month course down into two months which I like!! Less time in class means the sooner I can get started.
With working in EMS I really don't want to be coming into the hospital that I work in now because I would feel kind of awkward with the people I know seeing me in a different role. I'm shy like that. So I'll keep you updated on all the fun there is to be had in EMS! Ha!!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
The Secret
I guess when I really think about it, I have this whole woe-is-me attitude going on and I don't think it is completely unjustified. However, it sucks and I wish I could just let things go a little easier and not get so emotional over things that aren't really all that important. Then when there is something going on that its normal to be upset about I'm strangely calm. I just think my emotions and train of thought got crossed some how.
So my mother was watching Oprah and heard about a book called The Secret that is supposed to teach you how to have a different outlook on life in hopes of leading you to more success and happiness. She happened to mention the book at, of course, the worst time...which she always does... which usually makes me cry (conveniently enough that was the exact same time we got a monsoon in Pittsburgh so it was hidden). My mother is not an emotional person so whenever she gets that way I don't know how to react and I become a five year old again.
Anyways, I figure it can't hurt to read this book and see what it has to say. I'll have a bunch of time on my hands real soon because I'm one of those people who the more I do, the more I do. Doctors office with Dad Monday. Classes start Tuesday. New life on Wednesday. LOL Right!
So my mother was watching Oprah and heard about a book called The Secret that is supposed to teach you how to have a different outlook on life in hopes of leading you to more success and happiness. She happened to mention the book at, of course, the worst time...which she always does... which usually makes me cry (conveniently enough that was the exact same time we got a monsoon in Pittsburgh so it was hidden). My mother is not an emotional person so whenever she gets that way I don't know how to react and I become a five year old again.
Anyways, I figure it can't hurt to read this book and see what it has to say. I'll have a bunch of time on my hands real soon because I'm one of those people who the more I do, the more I do. Doctors office with Dad Monday. Classes start Tuesday. New life on Wednesday. LOL Right!
Since when.....
So while I'm sitting here trying to come up with things to write about I'm realizing that everything I think of has to do with men. I'm not real sure how that happened and I'm not real sure I have a problem with it either. This is my little venting spot and it just so happens that men are apparently all I have thought about for a while. I'm sure in a week or so it's going to turn into all medical and hospital crap. Men are just more fun!
McDirty
First of, yes, I do know it is totally cheesy to name every man I date McSomething. But the thing is, I don't care! I enjoy it and as my Meredith will tell you, each one of their names perfectly suits them.
To his credit, McDirty was the first man I Mc'd. He was the first person that I was.... involved with after calling off my engagement. So it was strange how it all started because I hadn't dated in over two years and we started off as friends but things grew into more than that. And I do admit our relationship is not one of the things I'm most proud of in my life but it's almost two years in and things just get more and more complicated.
The reason he became a Mc is because, he isn't exactly single and my friends and I kind of used to hang out where him and his girlfriend worked. So I couldn't exactly talk about him using his real name so we had to change things up a little bit and give him a nickname. And that's how he became McDirty.
Now how can I describe McDirty. Lets just say he's a bit older than me which I have no problem with because I know there is no chance of a real, committed relationship with him. (Do you notice a trend here?) It started as a one night thing because I was upset and crying and he made me laugh. While my friends were just letting me bitch and moan about life he was making me realize that life would go on, I just had to decide to make it happen. You know how people say you always learn a lesson from everything you do? I like to think that is what I learned from him. I could have sat there being miserable but instead I started going out and having some fun for myself. So when he waited until he was walking out my door to tell me that he had a girlfriend I just enjoyed the hug and pretended he didn't just say that.
I will admit it was pretty awkward for me to go back into that bar and see him because I wasn't sure how he would react or how I would. I told myself that night that it wouldn't happen again but clearly that didn't work out.
But we did manage to keep it pretty low key for quite a while. Just every now and then I would be leaving and while he closed up the bar we'd make plans to meet at my place. We didn't even have each other's phone numbers for about six months and to this day I still am not sure about his last name. We've tried to keep emotions out of the whole thing but by this point we're involved, whether he wants to admit it or not. And yes, he is still with his girlfriend.
I can still remember him asking for my phone number "just in case" he ever needed it. I'm not sure what he could have possibly needed it for but hey, that's just me. Something changed right then and there because now we had a connection to each other that we never had before. If we ever "needed" each other there was now a way to get in contact.
One of my favorite things about our relationship is sitting at the bar and talking to him, the other people that work there, and my friends and no one knows about what is going on. The secrecy is exciting and fun because we all love to do things that we aren't supposed to do and everyone loves a good secret.
So ever since we finally exchanged numbers we're almost like a long-distance relationship. You know, accidentally running into each other, bringing food on special occasions, helping each other out with Christmas shopping. Clearly we are more than an employee and customer. My favorite part is making him jealous when I come in with men that I work with or something like that because he swears he doesn't get jealous but I know by the way he acts that he's eyeing up the competition. Which is why I would never bring a man that I was actually interested in to that bar.
Something in me thinks that I should probably let him go but there is a part of me that truly cares about him and our friendship. But, Meredith and another one of my close friends made me pinky kiss that I would not go in there any more. And I've actually made it three weeks without going in!!!
Friday, June 6, 2008
Random Updates
So........... last time I visited I talked about a list of things I was planning on doing. Here's a little update:
I did finally sign up to take a class. It isn't nursing but it is something that I am interested in. I'll be getting my EMT with my friend and we'll have them by the end of the summer. The best thing about that is that I would be able to look for other jobs instead of this hell-hole that I'm in now. The only thing is my Meredith is not happy about it. I've gotten myself in trouble before with EMS and she's a little worried that if i become one, it will continue. No worries I'll just have to find a service that is not near here and is made up of lesbians so that I will not get in trouble at all.
Also I'm super excited tonight that I get to babysit my niece and nephew tonight which will be great because I'll get to have both of them all to myself. The plan is: running around the yard, food, bath and, bed. Then I get to sit on my butt watching TV and making plans for what to do after their mom and dad get home. (Hopefully that means hanging out with McDirty!!)
But most likely I will end up falling asleep on my brother's couch after the busy, disgusting week I've had. To sum it all up we got some bad news about my Dad and he's going to be spending quite a bit of time with doctors and in the hospital so that I weighing on my mind a little. It's probably the reason for me wanting to take certain co-workers out into the parking lot and scream about how little work they do and how they should just shut up and suck it up.
I did finally sign up to take a class. It isn't nursing but it is something that I am interested in. I'll be getting my EMT with my friend and we'll have them by the end of the summer. The best thing about that is that I would be able to look for other jobs instead of this hell-hole that I'm in now. The only thing is my Meredith is not happy about it. I've gotten myself in trouble before with EMS and she's a little worried that if i become one, it will continue. No worries I'll just have to find a service that is not near here and is made up of lesbians so that I will not get in trouble at all.
Also I'm super excited tonight that I get to babysit my niece and nephew tonight which will be great because I'll get to have both of them all to myself. The plan is: running around the yard, food, bath and, bed. Then I get to sit on my butt watching TV and making plans for what to do after their mom and dad get home. (Hopefully that means hanging out with McDirty!!)
But most likely I will end up falling asleep on my brother's couch after the busy, disgusting week I've had. To sum it all up we got some bad news about my Dad and he's going to be spending quite a bit of time with doctors and in the hospital so that I weighing on my mind a little. It's probably the reason for me wanting to take certain co-workers out into the parking lot and scream about how little work they do and how they should just shut up and suck it up.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
That Feeling
Recently I purchased my first car that is completely in my own name and mine all mine! It's the perfect up-and-coming career girl car that makes me look like such a grown up. The problem is, I still don't feel any different. I've been out of college now for two years. I've been through relationships. I've had great losses and great joys in my life. When the hell am I going to start to feel like a grown-up?
Not that I really want to BE a grown-up. I just want to feel like I've accomplished something.
So I should get off my ass and actually do something that is worth talking about instead of wasting my time talking about it. Now I guess my plan here is to go back to school. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal but I've been worried about going back since I have been out of the school lifestyle for two years now. But I never really tried in college so now it serves me right that I need to work hard, going to school and work, to make something better out of my life.
Tomorrow my plan is to call the advising office to figure out what I have to do now to start this fall. I figure if I give myself the chance to save money for a while and learn to stay in at night instead of spending two, or three, or four nights at the bar hoping that McDirty will be interested in spending time with me that night.
Also if I start school in the fall that will give me a reason to stay at this god forsaken job that I've been suffering at for far too long already. The only bonus is that we do have tuition reimbursement and that would be extremely helpful in figuring out how to pay to go back to school.
The biggest problem is just forcing myself to grow up and move on in life so that I can solve these things that I bitch about. I have virtually no motivation to get started with this, except for feeling my blood pressure rise as I drive to work everyday and the fact that I use the F word within half an hour of getting to work each day. I'm just such a mellow person in the grand scheme of life that once I get home and fall into my bed I convince myself that things will be better the next day. No matter how many times I am screwed by the management of this place I still come back for more. In the beginning I asked for it because of JerkFace. He is the root of many of my evils. But since "the Incident" I feel I have been wrongly attacked many times for things that have to relation to how I perform at my job. The personality conflicts are so large it's hard to explain them without sounding like I'm just complaining. It's all true.
That is why I have vowed to never accept a job in this company again. Which is going to prove more and more difficult as they take over the Pittsburgh area..... (and soon the world, I fear). I've purposely left the name out of this blog but if you are familiar with the area it should be easy to figure out. Still I will stick to my promise that I will never again wear a badge with their logo after I finally leave this tiny office behind.
http://www.theburghblog.com
Apparently (my hero) PittGirl has had a run in with them too.
Not that I really want to BE a grown-up. I just want to feel like I've accomplished something.
So I should get off my ass and actually do something that is worth talking about instead of wasting my time talking about it. Now I guess my plan here is to go back to school. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal but I've been worried about going back since I have been out of the school lifestyle for two years now. But I never really tried in college so now it serves me right that I need to work hard, going to school and work, to make something better out of my life.
Tomorrow my plan is to call the advising office to figure out what I have to do now to start this fall. I figure if I give myself the chance to save money for a while and learn to stay in at night instead of spending two, or three, or four nights at the bar hoping that McDirty will be interested in spending time with me that night.
Also if I start school in the fall that will give me a reason to stay at this god forsaken job that I've been suffering at for far too long already. The only bonus is that we do have tuition reimbursement and that would be extremely helpful in figuring out how to pay to go back to school.
The biggest problem is just forcing myself to grow up and move on in life so that I can solve these things that I bitch about. I have virtually no motivation to get started with this, except for feeling my blood pressure rise as I drive to work everyday and the fact that I use the F word within half an hour of getting to work each day. I'm just such a mellow person in the grand scheme of life that once I get home and fall into my bed I convince myself that things will be better the next day. No matter how many times I am screwed by the management of this place I still come back for more. In the beginning I asked for it because of JerkFace. He is the root of many of my evils. But since "the Incident" I feel I have been wrongly attacked many times for things that have to relation to how I perform at my job. The personality conflicts are so large it's hard to explain them without sounding like I'm just complaining. It's all true.
That is why I have vowed to never accept a job in this company again. Which is going to prove more and more difficult as they take over the Pittsburgh area..... (and soon the world, I fear). I've purposely left the name out of this blog but if you are familiar with the area it should be easy to figure out. Still I will stick to my promise that I will never again wear a badge with their logo after I finally leave this tiny office behind.
http://www.theburghblog.com
Apparently (my hero) PittGirl has had a run in with them too.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Blake... My Alaskan Husband
One of my biggest dreams is to live in Alaska for a while at some point in my life. And now thanks to the Discovery Channel I get to watch my second favorite show, Deadliest Catch. I'm truly addicted to that show, just like Grey's Anatomy but I am convinced that if I move to Alaska, Dutch Harbor to be exact, that I will get to marry my Alaskan husband Blake.
But I'm kind of sad now because Blake and his boat, the Maverick, are not on this season of Deadliest Catch. I have a strange attraction to men who work hard, swear a lot and are dirty when their work is done, which describes all the men on that show.
But I'm kind of sad now because Blake and his boat, the Maverick, are not on this season of Deadliest Catch. I have a strange attraction to men who work hard, swear a lot and are dirty when their work is done, which describes all the men on that show.
Blake just has the cute boy next door look to him and still he's out there risking his life in the "deadliest profession on Earth." They had Mother's Day and Memorial Day marathons of the show recently and I actually got to see episodes that I never saw before. One of my new favorite episodes is one from the first season when Blake was still a deckhand and his captains wife was talking about taking care of the men while they were at sea. And the cutest part was when the guys were getting ready to sleep for a while and Blake said all he wanted to do was spoon for a while before they got back to work.
But all I'm going to say now is that if you see ^ that man anywhere, let him know that I'm on my way and we'll get to have our Alaskan romance soon. Too bad I never caught that phone number on your jacket!!!
Friday, May 16, 2008
McRockstar
I've decided to write bios on the men I've dated in my life just so you know the background of the men I talk (yell) about on a daily basis. I feel the need to start with McRockstar for some unknown reason. So we'll go with that one.
The first thing I need to do is admit that I knew from the moment I met this man that he was nothing but trouble and I would end up hurt in one way or another if I got involved with him. I could have saved myself the drama but there is such a crazy attraction between the two of us that I couldn't help myself but get involved with him.
He's the typical flirt who would probably flirt with a 90 year old woman for absolutely no reason but it would still make that woman feel super special because she had his attention. In a way he reminds me of Captain Jack from the Pirates of the Caribbean in that he will tell you exactly how he's going to screw you over but for some reason you don't believe him and then he goes and proves that he is that big of a bastard. LOL But people love McRockstar and people love Captain Jack.
This man has no problem being completely honest with you which I love but I'm so used to men lying that I didn't even believe him when he was telling me the truth, that there was absolutely no future between us. So I did the girl thing and got attached which is just leading to drunken text messages and angry conversations for a couple days, then one of us gets over it and we're civil to each other again.
A woman with more will power than me would ignore him and move on, completely forgetting the strength of the attraction and the friendship that is there. However, I can't forget the good side of this man, which makes our friendship continue and a little tiny part of me still wants to be with him. The man is extremely intelligent and very skilled in his profession. He's kind of a RockStar. He is one of the few men that I can actually have one conversation after another with and learn something from him each time we talk.
The first thing I need to do is admit that I knew from the moment I met this man that he was nothing but trouble and I would end up hurt in one way or another if I got involved with him. I could have saved myself the drama but there is such a crazy attraction between the two of us that I couldn't help myself but get involved with him.
He's the typical flirt who would probably flirt with a 90 year old woman for absolutely no reason but it would still make that woman feel super special because she had his attention. In a way he reminds me of Captain Jack from the Pirates of the Caribbean in that he will tell you exactly how he's going to screw you over but for some reason you don't believe him and then he goes and proves that he is that big of a bastard. LOL But people love McRockstar and people love Captain Jack.
This man has no problem being completely honest with you which I love but I'm so used to men lying that I didn't even believe him when he was telling me the truth, that there was absolutely no future between us. So I did the girl thing and got attached which is just leading to drunken text messages and angry conversations for a couple days, then one of us gets over it and we're civil to each other again.
A woman with more will power than me would ignore him and move on, completely forgetting the strength of the attraction and the friendship that is there. However, I can't forget the good side of this man, which makes our friendship continue and a little tiny part of me still wants to be with him. The man is extremely intelligent and very skilled in his profession. He's kind of a RockStar. He is one of the few men that I can actually have one conversation after another with and learn something from him each time we talk.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
She's My Person
I feel it is only right to have a post dedicated to my best friend... my wife... (to steal one of many quotes from Grey's)... my person. She is my rock and the one person in my life that I know will always be there for me at any moment I need her. If it's beginning to sound like we're lesbians that's OK.... we're well aware of that. And we've both admitted that if one of us were equipped with man parts we'd already be married. But I feel the need to dispel all rumors and say blatantly: We are not lesbians.
This is completely a dedication to her, the woman who used three different cell phones one night when I couldn't stop crying. She was far away and I needed to talk so she proceeded to talk to me until her cell phone and two of her friend's cell phones batteries died and until she was convinced I wasn't going to die from dehydration.
It's what true friendship is all about.
We're the type of friends who can go for months without seeing each other and when we finally get together we still understand when one of us gets a phone call from a boy and runs out to see him. We're OK with that. Whoever is left sitting at the bar alone will finish her drink/drinks and think about how lucky she is to be friends with such an amazing person. And then wait for the texting to begin after the date is over.
In all honesty, she should be here writing with me because so many of our stories and life experiences are the same. We've realized that basically my life is about six months ahead of hers. Each time I call her upset over one thing or another, she moans. Not because she is upset for me or with me, but because she knows that whatever my new adventure is, the same thing is waiting right around the bend for her.
The more I think about it, she's going to be a part of almost every post so let's make up a nickname for her. I want to preserve a sense of anonymity with this blog and be mysterious like PittGirl. (Not that I am anywhere on her level at this time.....but maybe almost there). As I thought about a name for her it came to me..... She's Meredith and I'm Christina. There are parts of both of us that remind me of all the characters on Grey's but we're going to go with Meredith.
You say Copy Cat..... I say inspiration.
So here's the deal. I've been reading PittGirl for a while and am completely inspired by her writing. She has combined several of my favorite things into her blog..... Sports.... Pittsburgh.... Occasional drinks.... Pointing out the stupidity of people...and I think when my blog career grows up it would want to be like her. Maybe we can even make up a new drinking game that has something to do with the Pirates losing.... wait, that would lead to alcoholism ( Just kidding!! Love you Buccos!!!) We could be great friends.
Basically what I'm saying here is I hope to write this blog about the things that happen in my life in an attempt to keep my sanity as a young professional who is trying (desperately) to start a career. And date. And figure out who I am in this world. So I hope you enjoy and feel free to let me know what you think about my posts.
For some background on me I am
- a Sports fan..... ranking: Baseball, Football, Hockey
- ridiculously addicted to Grey's Anatomy
- completely under stimulated in my job
- most likely to spend my paycheck on shoes/purses/drinks
- a Pittsburgh girl
- looking for Mr. Right and the perfect job....
if you know where I can find either of those, let me know!
- a dog person. Not exclusively but they're my favorite
- sad I never watched Sex in the City ....
they seem very much like my friends and I but with more expensive shoes
- Ms. Almost
Nice to meet you.
Now, order me a Long Island Iced Tea and let's get started!
Basically what I'm saying here is I hope to write this blog about the things that happen in my life in an attempt to keep my sanity as a young professional who is trying (desperately) to start a career. And date. And figure out who I am in this world. So I hope you enjoy and feel free to let me know what you think about my posts.
For some background on me I am
- a Sports fan..... ranking: Baseball, Football, Hockey
- ridiculously addicted to Grey's Anatomy
- completely under stimulated in my job
- most likely to spend my paycheck on shoes/purses/drinks
- a Pittsburgh girl
- looking for Mr. Right and the perfect job....
if you know where I can find either of those, let me know!
- a dog person. Not exclusively but they're my favorite
- sad I never watched Sex in the City ....
they seem very much like my friends and I but with more expensive shoes
- Ms. Almost
Nice to meet you.
Now, order me a Long Island Iced Tea and let's get started!
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